THE TING TINGS Concert at Terminal 5. New York, march 16, 2009.

No words.

I love the band.

The concert was amazing.

I can say:

I LOVE NY AGAIN!

SUMMER IS COMING BACK!

THE SUPER ADORABLES!

Anyway, how I told in my last blog: LET'S BACK TO THE GAME!

And I went to my date with THE L.A. GUY.

He is nice, cute and very handsome. His color skin is beautiful, something between Santiago do Chile and Mexico City. We changed some few phone messages and he use to said: YOU'RE SUPER ADORABLE. So I thought: WHY NOT?

How I got a job in the day of our meeting, I asked him to we rearrange for the next day. So he invieted me to a friend birthday party.

OK. I'm ready.

The friend it was ex-wife of Axel Rose and we went to a fantastic place called CASA LA FEMME, in the West Village. It was a big party, like for 30 friends. And almost everybody it was from the west coast. 

After 30 minutes I started to get bored.

They had only 3 subjects on that table:

1. LABELS

2. TANNING

3. COCAINE

He is such a good kisser, but when he started to asked me about their friends:

- Isn't she adorable?

- Isn't she fabulous?

- Isn't she beautiful?

I decided to stop with that show.

For Christ sake! 

At least to save my life from that hell one of the guests was late. And she came to bring something fresh for that conversation.

IT WAS NATALIE PORTMAN.

And she seat almost by my side.

If we talked?

Yes, a kind of... about Brazil.

She is beautiful and sweet and that's it.

TELL ME MORE! TELL ME MORE!

WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?

UHHHH... 

The summer is a promise, but is coming.

I am looking forward for that.

BUT THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS TIME IS THAT I CAN SAY AGAIN AND OUT OF LOUD:

I LOVE NEW YORK.

I love New York.

I still miss somethings from my recent past. 

And I still ask myself about that.

Therefore... IT'S ALL ABOUT FUN, isn't it?

for me it doesn't work if I don't feel butterflies in my stomach.

And that's it.

Since a long time without open myself for dates I'm trying to back to the game again.

Ok, GAME: I don't like this work but I think it's the most appropriate.

But you know... we are living our lives,

and we walk around the streets,

and we go to bars,

clubs,

and we meet the friends of our friends,

we meet knew friends who have new friends,

and we go for house parties,

and we have facebook,

myspace...

And we flirt,

we smile,

AND WE ARE ALREADY IN THE GAME.

THERE IS NO CHOICE, IT'S LIFE MACHINE OPERATING ITSELF.

But like I told before, I was not in the mood for dates.

And now... I can feel the mess all around!

You have all this different people that you met and invitations for drinks, just a coffee, a complete night with dinner or just for casual sex and you don't know what to do.

I really can imagine that for certain people is easier to arrange all the mess, but for me!

I can make more and more mess all over it!

I appoint and re-schedule and cancel and give up...

WHY?

BECAUSE I AM STILL WAITING TO FEEL AGAIN ALL THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH!

I OPERATE IN THIS WAY. 

And for sure I don't know to be different.

For sure that's a lie, some of my friends can say.

I used to be a good player.

And I still can be one.

Therefore I am getting older and I don't want "half things".

How I hate half of a love 

In the same way I do not conform to be half hungry 

Not delight me be a half dead 

And not satisfy me have a half fuck

Could I translate all the emotion in the Ferreira Gullar poetry?

I hope God forgive me for trying to to do that!

Anyway, that's the point in my life right now and ever:

I WANT TO FEEL THINGS STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE MY LEGS TREMBLE!

I WANT AGAIN BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH!

Such a teenager, you can think.

And yes, I agree.

But thinking like a man, I am going out for a date tonight.

Maybe tonight, in our second meeting, I might find something new.

AT LEAST, I HOPE SO.

notas do fim da garrafa!

Life is good.
And good things happen for good people.
I am feeling really proud of me. And about my determination.
I still cannot understant somethings about english.
Or about the english american people use.
Or about amercian people.
Or just about people in general.

I AM IN GWENN'S HOUSE. IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT.
WE HAD PISCO FROM PERU... BEERS FROM CALIFORNIA.
NOW WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOME P . O . T . THAT THE GIRLS ARE GOING TO GET.
AND MORE BEERS.
WE ARE LISTENING GOOD MUSIC.
AND EVEN THE STRAIGH GUY HERE, MIKE - THE ROOMMATE, IS SUCH A QUEEN!
HE IS HOT! RISOS.

I miss feel full of love.
But I realize I need to walk in the line.
My line.


I am drunk.
Don't pay attention on me.
Don't give a shit on me.

I put VOGUE to play in the I TUNES.
Such a gay song!

DRUNK DRUNK DRUNK!
Cristina and me... we are playing like Jack and Karen from Will And Grace.
Of course I'm Karen! RISOS.

There is a beautiful dog in the house. Lilly.
She is a half pit bull and a half boxer.
She is lovelly and kissed me all the time.
Maybe I am becoming a straigh guy. Or a dog.
Am I becoming a dog?

"It makes no difference if your black or white.
If your a boy or a girl.

...


VOGUE VOGUE."

Shut up boy!
Back to your beers.
Forget the sadness.


YES WE CAN.

IT'S HARD, BABE. LIFE IS HARD.

At this hard times I've been thinking about choices.
And at this hard times, and I am repeating to make sure that you understand what I'm talking The first one is to act in life like Vivien Leigh in the Elia Kazan movie "A Streetcar named desire". In the end of this marvelous movie you can see Blanche Dubois (Leigh's character) go deep in her crazyness and fragility and says:

"I ALWAYS DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS".
And this is our first option.

The second and tough option is to bring to life the strengh of the sentence - therefore do not the vulnerability - of the character of Annette Benning in the Sam Mendes' movie "American Beauty":

"I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM".

And I picked this second one. And I'm glad I did that.
Do you wanna know what I'm talking about?
I can tell you. I'm not ashamed.
I've been absent of this blog because I have been working to much.
I am dog walking (what is such a delicious because my three little friends made my days), I am hosting in a restaurante (in the weekend brunch, what is such annoying because there's nothing worst then hungry people) and I am deliverying.
Yes. I HAVE BEEN WORKING IN BIKE DELIVERY.


What are you doing with all you knowledge?


Surviving. I AM JUST DOING WHAT I MIGHT DO.


If I am happy?
OF COURSE. I AM STILL IN THE CITY I WANT TO LIVE.
I LOVE THIS CITY AND I DON'T WANT TO COME BACK.
Of course I am still looking for another job and opportunities, but like I said two times in the beggining of this text: THESE ARE HARD TIMES, DUDE!

Things will get better soon. I do believe it.

BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM!

This text is dedicated to:

Patricia Santos, minha roommate

Manuela Eicher, minha irma e amiga

Mariela Star, que compartilha comigo dessa opiniao (tenhoo certeza)

perto do coracao selvagem.

It's so fucking bad when you spent all night long trying to sleep and you don't get it!
This is happenning with me since one month ago!
I'm getting crazy!


BRILHO ETERNO DE UMA MENTE SEM LEMBRANCAS?
eternal sunshine of a spotless mind?


UMA SAUDADE GIGANTE DOS AMIGOS.
UMA SAUDADE GIGANTE DO VERAO.
UMA VONTADE DE ESTAR NA PRAIA.
UMA VONTADE DE ALMOCAR NA CASA DOS MEUS PAIS NUM DOMINGO.
UMA VONTADE DE BEIJAR NA BOCA (NAQUELA BOCA).
PISTA DE DANCA.
GELATINA DE MORANGO.
MINHA IRMA.
MINHA IRMA.
MINHA IRMA.
MINHA IRMA.

Ok... but your homesick by your side and remember that tonight is a good night for a movie.
What about HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU?
Perfect movie for me, I think.


Prometo fotos logo logo.
Tenho varias novas.
Sexta que vem tem show do CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SAY YEAH.
Lindo que sou, estou indo ao BAM, no Brooklyn comprar meu ticket today.

Beijo nos amigos.
DON'T CALL ME A BITCH JUST BECAUSE I'M PHEENO.

2046

Ontem a noite eu assisti novamente ao belissimo  filme do Wong Kar Wai. Definitivamente um dos meus diretores favoritos e talvez o que mais entenda de cores na minha opiniao. O filme 

e' tao suave e belo, e as imagens de um total controle e vc acaba por ficar descontrolado.

LOVE IS ALL ABOUT TIMING... reflete um dos personagens.

Aproveitei a solidao do meu quarto e fmei meus ultimos dois cigarros. Lembrei de momentos deliciosos quando eu recbia amigos na minha casa ou ia a casa de outros amigos para assistirmos a filmes em meio a coidinhas e cigarros. Uau! Saudade 'e buraco fundo feito com a ponta do dedo indicador no meio do peito. Puta que pariu!

Anyway... ontem eu me deixei levar elo desejo e ... E sim. Me deixei levar pelo desejo e aceitei um convite que, acredite, meu corpo nao tem sentido muita vontade para.

Mas a que se voltar a vida real e normal... e um convite desse tipo sempre da uma acordada quando aceito.

Anyway... I go riding my bike... yes... riding a bike.. kkkkkkkkkkk....... at least up to the weekend when I am going to start my host position.

TOUGH, DUDE! HARD!

Fiquem bonitinhos ai... que eu to querendo ficar bonitinho aqui.

PS.: QUERO O MEU PEDACO DO PA-CI-FI-CO!